Sophia gets home at ten. The boys are still up, we're playing LostWind. We do the nightly routine with the boys then put them to sleep. Half-hour later they're getting out of bed refusing to go quietly. It's quarter to eleven before they are asleep.
Sophia and I take a shower, and afterwards I'm looking to score. But I mention something in the shower that triggers an argument. I not only get heated because of what Sophia is saying, but also because any chance I had of doin' somethin' to her goes out the window. After I get out I take a smoke break, and let my dick straighten everything out in my mind. I love Sophia unconditionally, so it's hard to stay mad at her for long. I make a bagel with butter before I creep into the bedroom where's she's sleeping.
I came out and take another smoke break before sitting down to write. This is what came out.
Too Easy
The bitch in front of me has a really nice, brand new Lexus IS 350. She's holding traffic up with it driving under 40, which really irritates me even though I have no where to be anytime soon. I'm eastbound on the 12, approaching Oakmont, I can't wait for this bitch to turn off. she signals to turn into Oakmont and I'm pissed at her so I speed up to get a good look at her, so I can imagine punching her face. She's looks in her eighties, I could see liver spots on her head through her gray, thinning old woman hair, and her dark black sun glasses covered most of her wrinkly face with the hanging flesh. I looked at her slumped over her steering wheel half-dead, and a thought flashed into my head. I made a split second decision to see it through.
I throw my signal on to get in front of her. I get in the right lane, after I turn, slowing up so the old geezer woman will pass on the left. when she does I get behind her and reach in my back pocket for my wallet. I find the business card I'm looking for in it and call the number. The bitch in the Lexus is still driving slow. A 306-hp V6 engine just isn't meant to be driven that way.
I recognize the thick Russian accent that answers the phone.
"Ivan, hey it's-"
"Whose this?"
"Hey it's Dude, from Acura."
"Oh yes, Josie hello, how're doing?" Fucking Russians always call me Josie.
"Yeah good, i just had a question, do you buy new cars?"
"Oh," he laughs. "Hmm, what kind?"
"A Lexus IS 350, lime green."
"Where you get this car?"
"I'm looking at it right now."
"You holding one moment please." Then I can hear him start to speak Russian before the sound goes muffled.
I'm pretty deep into Oakmont now still trailing this bitch, and still mad as hell about the way she drives. A moment later Ivan comes back on, "If you for real, we buy."
My heart stops, I wasn't expecting that answer at all. "How much?" I ask.
"Seven thousand, cash."
"How about ten? It's brand new. I'm looking at it right now."
Ivan shouts Russian to someone, pauses, says something different in Russian, then says: "Ok Josie. Ok. You come to Sacramento with it. Call me ok when you get here." And he hangs up just as the old geezer is pulling the Lexus into her garage. I make note of where she lives before I go to the market to park my car, I leave the key on top of my driver's side tire. Then I call Nic on my cell as I'm walking back to grandma geezer's house.
"Nic, wut's crackin'" I say.
"Nuthin' Dude, wut 'bout you?"
"Nothing. Look, I need you to do me a favor."
"What?"
"Go to Oakmont Market, and pick up my car, ask Pat for a ride, or somethin'. The key's on my tire."
"Why Dude, wut's up?"
"I'll tell you later, just do it for me please."
He says, "Ok."
When I get to the house I check the front door first to see if it's unlocked, it's locked. Then I check the side door of the garage. It's open. The garage is small and neat, the Lexus looks really big sitting in the small box. I am sure to be quiet as I enter the house. Grandma must keep her keys close by, like on a hook, or in her purse. Then for no reason I start to panic thinking maybe she has the key on her, or what if she sees me. I come to when I see the key on a ring, next to the mail on the kitchen table. Down the hall I hear news radio blaring, and there's a pot of boiling water on the new stainless steel stove.
You can hardly heart the motor when I start the car in the garage. It's truely a beauty. Too bad I can't keep her I think to myself, then: That was easier than I imagined. I back out of the garage and set the Navi for Sacramento.
It's not that I stole it because I'm a thief, or I wanted to make money. I just didn't want the old bitch to have the car.
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